Darkness, Misery and Sorrow..

This kind of thoughts has been playing in my mind for days.. Felt like every time I enter and left someone life.. I kept putting destruction and destroying one’s life.. Kinda Zeref Aura or even Exxocimus state.. Might be my defensive mechanism.. I’m not so sure and to be exact, I’m not even sure why.. But this thought kept coming and reflecting on myself.. Day by day.. Felt like I’m spreading sorrow, misery and darkness upon one’s life.. Putting them in their worst condition possible and hurting them day by day.. Sometimes they realise it but usually they only realise it when it is too late.. Maybe this is the reason why the great wall of seclusion being establish in my region of power since I was a kid.. To avoid spreading these kind of misery to others.. To prevent the outbreak of this epidemic in human race or in human society.. This might be the reason why I do not have the attitude like others, who loved to catch up with everyone either from kindergarden up to the university level..

It's all started when I dislike or start hating something. The epidemic aura will spread throughout the ‘thing’ and intensify the darkness bestowed upon the ‘target’.. Day by day pass by, more and more people become inflicted with these kind of pain and damages.. It is hard to control even hard to understand how and when it will be release.. Some might say it is a curse but in fact it might be a defensive mechanism to protect oneself..

And the best way to stop all this.. I’m thinking the only way is to isolate myself and withdraw myself from this current position.. Kept human interaction to a minimum level, as low as possible.. Isn’t that what our prophet did last time before he became the messenger.. When he hate and dislike the human behaviours, he went to the cave and isolate himself.. Hopefully it will be a good solution and lessen the destruction that I might cause to others..

Who knows my real destiny is not to be with people or even to lead people..But actually to do what I do best.. Seeking and explore new possibility and even the True knowledge of the world.. To understand deeper and deeper the existence of elements in this world that will reflect back to the Ultimate and Almighty Creator of everything on Earth and even far far away in the sky..

I believe there is a reason on everything that’s happening now and in the near future.. Before this very hands started to destroy the Earth and inflict pains into human that history never ever seen before.. It is better to wonder in the Abyss of the Blazing Sky.. Seeking what never been seek by humans, reveal what never been told to humans, hear what never been heard by humans and understand everything that always been ignored by humans...

It is just a tought coming from someone that are not known to the world..